So, we tease my mom a lot about her eating habits. I love her, but she eats like a freakin’ bird. She picks at her food, takes little bites and nibbles and then she’s full. It’s ridiculous. We’d make brownies and cut them into squares. I’d find a square cut in half or in quarters, and I knew it was Mom. “I just need a little taste!” she’d say. Everywhere you looked was evidence of Mom’s nibbles.

So anyway, I thought that when I got married and moved out of the house, I wouldn’t find nibbled desserts. I mean, I married a man, right? He’ll eat like one!

Well, alas, turns out I married my mother.

Exhibit A:

These are chocolates his aunt gave us for Christmas. Do you see the nice, pretty whole truffles? And then do you notice the halved truffle in the lower row, beside the white powdered one? Yes, that’s from Neal. These things are like 1/2-inch balls. And he cut it in half. Heaven forbid we eat the WHOLE, BITE-SIZED truffle.

Exhibit B:

**Me singing** “Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar? Neal stole… errr…. half a cookie from the cookie jar….”

You ever sing that song on the playground as a kid? I did all the time. Anyway, that’s a chocolate chip cookie from the cookie jar. Is it just a broken cookie? No, I assure you, it’s Neal’s nibbles. We had guests over one time and I put out some cookies. Some of them were broken. No lie, Neal says “Ummmm… you might not want to put those out, I might have nibbled on some of them.” WHAT THE HECK?!?!

Exhibit C:

These are the red velvet cupcakes I made recently. Notice the top cupcake has been cut in half. Mmmm… who cut that cupcake and ate the other half? Ummm…. it wasn’t me, Simone or Ferris.

Seriously, I married my mother. If he starts to complain about hot flashes, I’ll explode.