So, Neal and I aren’t the best travelers. We’re real homebodies. Probably the only trip we went on in which we didn’t fight was the honeymoon. It’s all “I don’t like how you drive” and “quit walking so fast” and “how can you not know where we are” and “quit asking questions” and “I’m never traveling with you again!”

However, I have wanted to visit New York City around the holidays for a long time now. So when I saw a bus trip to NYC for the day in our local township newletter, I signed up before Neal could say no. Not driving ourselves would eliminate at least 5 arguments, so we found ourselves running to the bus (last ones on!) at 6 a.m. Saturday morning.

NYC is beautiful in the December. I’m not sure there’s anything like it. It was cold. Very, very cold, but it was sunny, so that made up for the freezing temps.

The bus dropped us off at Bryant Park, and since Neal and I are Project Runway fans, that was cool for us. Bryant Park is often where the show holds its runway finales. There’s a big tree, and an ice rink and a really cool fountain.

We headed over to Times Square, just because I think you have to go to Times Square when you are in New York.

Took a shot of the Hard Rock where my mom and I ate last time I was in NYC.

And an ad for one of our favorite shows.

And had to take a picture of Parsons, also featured in Project Runway.

We then took the subway (my first time!) to Central Park. Upon further review, we could have walked, but oh well. Last time Neal was on a subway, some homeless guy passed out on him. Or did Neal pass out on the homeless guy?

So we got to Central Park, and I tried to convince Neal to take a carriage ride around the park, as suggested by my friend, Jodie. Neal put his foot down. I whined and begged and put on my best pouty face, which usually weakens him, but he held firm. “Too expensive for 20 minutes.”

So I took picture of some other people getting a ride.

So we walked around the park instead. And after all the fun shots I got, I realized it was better than a carriage ride. And I had to listen to Neal say “I told you so” for a good hour. Jerk.

And I’d like to point something out here. See those ear things Neal’s wearing? He scoffed Friday night when I told him to bring a hat. Heck, he snorted. And you know what? He bought those things for $5 from a street vendor 15 minutes after we left the bus because his ears were cold. So, I told YOU so. Harumph.

And I’m not sure why I felt the need to pose like that in like every picture. Guess I was feeling “sassy.”

And this was the point the wind started to pick up. It was cold. Very cold. So we headed across the street to Mickey Mantle’s Restaurant and Sports Bar for lunch. It was nice, laid-back and WARM! I didn’t take any pictures of my food, because, well, I was starving and ate it too fast. But we did sit near a signed Michael Jordan jersey that was going for $3,500. Yowza!

Neal’s dad grew up a Yankees fan, so we took a shot of the plaque for him.

Mantle was #7. Family fact: Neal’s parents were married on the 7th of April. Coincidence?

We then decided to make our way back downtown. Or maybe it was uptown? I really have no idea, we just started walking, OK?

Along the way, we found some Santas entertaining the crowd. I managed to weasel my way to the front of the crowd and watched the break dancers do their thing. It was really cool. And there was seriously a HUGE crowd watching these guys.

We kept walking and then took some pictures in front of some giant balls. Yes, I’m giggling. And yes, I have the maturity of a 13-year-old boy.

Then we made our way over to Rockefeller Center to see the big tree. Big mistake. No wait, it was a huge mistake. No, that’s not the word I want. Collossal, Humongous, Dinosaur-sized Mistake.

The wall of people should have given us a clue, but it didn’t. There was a line a block long to see the NBC studio tour. We made to the tree, somehow, and out of nowhere, millions of Santas appeared. Seriously. There were vampire Santas, “Top Gun” Santas, Grinch Santas, you name it. I guess I didn’t get the memo to wear my Santa suit. I even heard one female Santa chanting “Who let the Claus out!” (Instead of “Who Let the Dogs Out.”) It was insane. I did take a shot of one interesting Santa.

Very politically correct.

And the tree? Well, I know we went in the daylight, but dude. This tree was seriously unimpressive. It was droopy and sparse. Very not worth having a claustrophobic panic attack.

See all the damn Santas? I felt bad for the little kids. I heard one boy say “Mommy, why are there so many Santas?” Glad I didn’t have to explain THAT one.

We fought the crowds and got the hell off Avenue of the Americas. We headed to Madison and it was a much nicer stroll.

We went to Macy’s because I kind of think you have to. That place was also a madhouse. The window displays at Macy’s, Saks and Lord and Taylor were really cool. Lord and Taylor had a storyline that talked about just being yourself. I liked that. But there were too many people to get any good pictures.

We started to head back to Bryant Park, which is where the bus had to pick us up. We had some time to kill, and the tour guide lady on the bus had suggested we try the New York public library, which was right around Bryant Park. We saw the signs, and decided to head in.

Yeah, you might be wanting to say something right now. Just bear with me, since this is where things sort of got interesting.

We walked in and were greeted with a bag check. No big deal. We made it into the lobby (I’m using that word generously) and just sort of looked around. Every book looked like it was shit, pissed or puked in. We both started to get a little skeeved out. I figured maybe Neal and I could kill some time and read the newspaper, some magazines, etc.

I walked over to Information.

“Excuse me, could you tell me where the periodicals are? Magazines, newspapers…” I said.

“Fourth floor,” said Library Lady, without looking at me.

As we walked toward the elevator, Neal said “I’m not sure you needed to explain to her what periodicals are…”

“Shut up!” I hissed.

So we took a dirty elevator to the fourth floor. I stepped out and looked to my right, noticing several homeless people asleep next to people reading books at the tables. Remind me never to get used to reading casually next to a sleeping homeless person.

We spotted the magazines and walked over. No lie, these were magazines I’ve never seen before. They were either Japanese or Danish or something. Neal and I took one look at each other and decided it was time to leave.

We walked over to the elevators. Neal extended his forefinger to push the down arrow button and we noticed there was no down arrow. Instead, there was an up arrow and below it, there was a button with some weird symbol on it. It looked like a pig with horns. Seriously. He retracted his finger without pushing the button and looked at me.

“What does that symbol mean?”

We stared at it, not wanting to push it, because seriously, would you press a button in New York if you didn’t know what it was? Luckily an elevator door opened that was going down and Neal and I made it out of that place alive.

We later decided the button meant “To Hell.”

So, we made it out onto the sidewalk and noticed a large, regal building diagonal from the library. We walked over to it and see, etched in stone, “New York Public Library.” So, where were we just moments before? Well, we’re still kind of baffled about that one.

We walked into the actual library, and it was so pretty.

We walked up to the third floor and admired the artwork on the ceiling and walls.

The library had an exhibit on Yaddo, which is an artists’s retreat founded in 1900 in New York. All kinds of writers and artists spent time there. Mario Puzo started “The Godfather” there.

Well, I found a letter written by Flannery O’Connor, one of my favorite authors of all time. She is most famous for her short stories (fiction), which often centered on religion and racism. Her letter, written to the head of Yaddo, included some mocking of the KKK. It was really, really cool to see something written by her. No pics, sorry. They weren’t allowed in the exhibit.

After leaving the library, we headed back to Bryant Park.

Excuse Neal’s face. He was holding the camera.

So, all in all, we had a really good time. Minimal fighting. The best part? We didn’t miss the bus, and made it home to cuddle in bed with Ferris and Simone.